Pink and Yellow
by Mickleditch
Summary: Everybody has secrets. Two German soldiers have secrets that are more dangerous than most.


Disclaimer: 'Allo 'Allo and all characters belong to David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd, and the BBC.

* * *

Helga stared at the forged painting. Aside from a slight deviation in color which was imperceptible without closely examining the picture at two specific points, the match was near-perfect - quite perfect enough, she felt sure, to keep the Führer convinced.

"It is very good," she commented. "You must have shown considerable talent from a young age. I am surprised that you did not go on to complete your artistic studies."

Gruber shifted, uncomfortably. "It was not out of lack of desire. I was involved in... an incident. With a fellow student. After which I was advised that I was no longer welcome at the institution and that it was in my best interests to go as quickly as possible."

"Unless you wished for them to fail you?"

He met her gaze. "No, unless I wished them to call out the police. They were not so prepared to turn a blind eye to paragraph 175 in Stuttgart as they were in Berlin."

"You do realize what it is that you are confessing, Lieutenant Gruber?"

"Nothing that you undoubtedly did not already know."

"Whether it is a good idea to confirm it is an entirely different thing. I have a big mouth."

"I am sure that that is why Herr Flick is able to make such good use of your services."

"Do not push your luck," Helga said, through gritted teeth.

Gruber leaned over the painting, and brushed a few specks of dust from it. He tilted his head, regarding it briefly, then began to roll it up, ready for transport. "You remind me of my professor. While I suspect that he knew about my _leanings_ from the start, I think that he always hoped that he would not end up having to be told. It was he who offered me the choice of simply leaving."

"He was a kind-hearted man," Helga suggested.

"Yes, and with not a little understanding. There were people who would have liked to remove him from the school as easily as they could me."

"For what reason?"

"He was a Jew." Reaching into his pocket, Gruber brought out a piece of string. "Or a mixed Jew, through his father. I believe that, later, he arranged for a relative of some sort to sign the affidavit saying that his mother was an adulteress and the man was not his real father. The court's theory is that the children will be better thought of as bastards."

Helga watched him as he finished tying a neat bow around the canvas, as if simultaneously tying up the loose ends of his story. It occurred to her, with faint surprise, that he trusted her in certain ways, and she wondered what he saw in her that he did. Why he, of all people, was able to see it.

"I expect that my grandmother agreed with them," she said.

A faint frown creased his forehead. "I am sorry - I am not sure that I quite understand."

"It is irrelevant, of course. My certificate is safely on record. It  
informs the authorities, sufficiently, I think, that my mother does not have a drop of Jewish blood."

Gruber stared at her, very directly. "I think that you are also telling me something that I should not be hearing, Helga."

"I am only telling you that I am of pure German stock, Lieutenant. I would never wish to suggest otherwise to anyone. It would be a terrible risk."

A few seconds went by. Then Gruber said, "You are not going to marry him, are you?" Despite his phrasing, it was a statement, not a question.

"The SS would expect Herr Flick's wife to have long been a party member." Helga shrugged a little, her face expressionless. Reaching out, she lightly touched his sleeve. "Come, let us deliver the paintings. He will be waiting."

It was not a long journey to the Gestapo headquarters, but neither of them said anything on the way there. Or for a very long time afterwards.

* * *

Author's notes:  
1) Helga's reaction when the Colonel and Hans find out that their uniforms are being made in London by 'Solomon & Klein' is interesting. "A Jewish tailor?" she exclaims. "Oy vey!" When they stare at her, she smiles awkwardly and hurriedly adds, "Whatever that means!" That one throwaway joke always interests me; that she spontaneously comes out with a Jewish expression then tries to play it down. Did she have Jewish friends before the war? Was the matter even closer to home?  
2) 'Second degree' mischlinge - quarter Jews with one Jewish grandparent - were not usually as harshly persecuted, but they were often harrassed, could be expelled from school if the institution chose, were barred from military promotion and certain professions, and could not join the NSDAP or the SS. All known mischlinge were carefully watched to see if they showed any signs of being influenced by their Jewish roots. They could be issued with a German Blood Certificate that 'cleared' them if they could make a satisfactory claim that they had no Jewish relative for a set number of generations.  
3) Gruber canonically hails from Baden-Baden, and mentions having been to Heidelburg University. So I'm guessing that the 'art school' he also attended, if it was a similarly good school, might have been the Württemberg State School of Applied Arts in Stuttgart (later the State Academy of Fine Arts Stuttgart).


End file.
